Single Parent Dating - Tips for Introducing your Kids to your Dates

If you are a single parent, dating may be a source ofor mother, and that this new person will never take
simultaneous joy and anxiety. How do you explain totheir mother's or father's place. Make sure to listen to
young children that you are dating? Should youhow your children feel about what you tell them, and
introduce the kids to everyone you date, or is it betterencourage them to ask any questions they have.
to wait until the relationship has reached a certain levelIf your kids react positively or neutrally, you might
of commitment? What if you fall in love with someoneschedule an age-appropriate activity all of you can do
your kids end up not liking? Although these aretogether. If your children seem extremely adverse to
common questions most single parents entering thethe idea of you dating, you might consider holding off
dating scene have, there are truly no simple answers.on the introduction for a few weeks to give your kids
Combining the following tips with your instincts andtime to let the news sink in. Once you and your kids
better judgment can help.are ready, plan an activity where everyone can have
When you have young children, third grade or younger,a good time. Choose mini-golf or an afternoon at the
explaining that you are dating is probably notarcade over a sit-down lunch, because a hands-on
necessary, at least not until you have met someoneactivity will allow your kids the option of doing their own
you are serious about. Introducing a young child tothing while warming up to your new love slowly,
every man or woman you bring home is probablywhereas a restaurant lunch will involve forced small
more damaging than helpful, and will likely only confusetalk and awkward silence.
your child. Remember that young children growKeep in mind, all children adjust differently. If your kids
attached to people quickly, and thus, it is unfair to yourlived through and remember the times you and their
children to bring someone into their lives whom youfather argued, or your kids' mother has only been dead
yourself are still unsure about. Once a relationship hasa few years, the concept of a new man or woman
reached the stage where you both envision a futureentering their lives may be more than your children are
together, the risk of heartbreak for both you and youremotionally ready to handle. Once a child has lost a
kids becomes smaller.parent, they may fear being abandoned. Although it
Once you are dating someone you truly believe couldmay seem irrational to your adult mind, to a child, it may
be the one, you are faced with how to introduce yourseem like you are abandoning them for a new man, or
kids to the new man or woman in your life. It is wise toa new woman. They may also feel like you are trying
sit down with your children individually and have ato replace their father or mother, or they may be
conversation before bringing home someone who, toholding on to fantasies that you and your ex will get
your children, is a stranger. If your children are oldback together. If your children feel any of these things,
enough to understand the concept of dating, theythey will most likely react negatively to anyone new
might not necessarily be happy to hear the news. Kidsyou bring home, regardless of what a good person he
ages nine and up, especially ones old enough toor she might be or how much you love him or her. By
remember your divorce or separation, or who havereassuring your children that you love them, that they
lived through the death of a parent, tend to see theirare your priority, and that your loyalties are to them,
single parent's dating as a threat. Explain to youryou will be allowing your children to accept your new
children that you are not trying to replace their fatherrelationship in their own time.