Granny's Almost Garden

I almost had a garden this year. Then the earwigs tookjob of cleaning the parakeet cage. Next I fed the bird
over my lettuce. The grasshoppers confiscated all myand changed his water. He won't even sit on my finger.
zucchini and various other flying insects shared theUngrateful bird! I suspect Fido is leaning toward this sort
sunflowers. The gophers leveled one row in anof behavior. He barks at me every time I come home
afternoon. They enjoyed a healthy salad. I did get onebut if I'm in the kitchen cooking, his attitude is completely
meal of peas and one helping of green beans. Thedifferent. What's wrong with goldfish? They make
produce that I ate cost me about six dollars a poundsuch nice pets. They stay put; swim around in circles
but the relaxation of working in my garden withand have short life spans. By the time the newness
grasshoppers slamming into my head is priceless.Thewears off, they die.Personally I've always wanted a
grandchild got a puppy last week. A cute, little untrainedminiature horse. They will mow and fertilize the yard
puppy. Now I have to be careful where I step walkingand are a nice size. They don't need a big barn and
through the house. It was bad enough when I had tothey are cute. If you change your mind, they have
get a pooper scooper for my lawn. But for the livingresale value. (signed practical Granny)Granny Marge
room? Training Fido has become a family project.has just published her second humor book, Granny's
Cleaning up Fido's accidents seems to be my field ofJournal. She is a library director in a small town in the
expertise. Conveniently no one notices or seems to beNorthwest and turned 62 this year. She forgets a lot
around at these critical times. Last year I inherited theso if she repeats herself, please forgive her.